Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
