My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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