u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I could fuck to npr.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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