All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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