So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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