two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
