I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
