She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize