Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
the day after is always just damage control
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
