good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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