you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
