let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize