Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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