I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
