I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
