Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
