He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
