remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
