i wish peter jackson would direct porn
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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