They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
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