She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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