fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
