the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
