It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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