dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
