Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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