who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
