You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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