oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
PANTIES FOUND
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