haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
