You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
