I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
