I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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