How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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