Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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