So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize