She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
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