Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
