His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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