just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize