I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
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