We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
