i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
