There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
