We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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