didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I wish i was in the wii world.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize