Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
you will always have a special place in my vag
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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