You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Randomize
