in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
