He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
