last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
