how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize