We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
