did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
