Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
