so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
