so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I wish i was in the wii world.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
