well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
