real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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